Losing Myself, Finding Me
Again: How I Gained Back My Confidence
There was a time when I felt like
I was moving, but not really living. Caught between responsibilities,
expectations, and emotional turmoil, I found myself slowly fading into someone
I didn’t recognize. Somewhere along the way, I lost my confidence—and with it,
I lost myself.
I kept trying to keep everything
together—career, family, emotions—but the more I tried to balance, the more I
felt off balance inside. I second-guessed every decision. I stopped trusting my
instincts. I was existing in survival mode, and slowly, my self-belief eroded.
One day, I looked in the mirror
and saw someone who looked tired—not physically, but mentally and emotionally.
That was my wake-up call. I knew I couldn’t go on like this. Something had to
shift—and that something was within me.
One day, I looked in the mirror
and saw someone who looked tired—not physically, but mentally and emotionally.
That was my wake-up call. I knew I couldn’t go on like this. Something had to
shift—and that something was within me.
In the thick of confusion and
emotional fog, I knew I needed a way to channel my energy—something that would
pull me out of my own head. I turned to books, not just for distraction, but
for a kind of silent companionship. Pages became my refuge, words became my
comfort.
But what really gave me direction
again was something I had nearly given up on—my distance PGDM course.
I had enrolled long back, full of
ambition, but somewhere during the emotional chaos of life, I stopped believing
I could finish it. The deadline to complete the two-year program was June 2025.
By April that year, I had almost written it off as a missed opportunity.
And yet, something inside nudged
me: Why not give it one last try?
It sounded crazy—even
impossible—to complete the course in just three months. But I decided to give
it everything I had left in me. I didn’t know if I’d succeed. I just knew I had
to try—not to prove anything to the world, but to myself.
That decision changed something
in me. For the first time in a long time, I felt the flicker of drive return.
That flicker became fuel. The more I studied, the more I started believing in
myself again.
A Reminder of Simpler Days—But
This Time, It Was Different
As I opened my books again, a
wave of nostalgia hit me. It reminded me of my school and college days—when
life was so beautifully simple. Study, eat, play, sleep. That rhythm had its
own joy. The only worry back then was finishing homework or preparing for an
exam. Life had space to breathe.
But this time, things weren’t so
easy.
Now, the rhythm was replaced by a
relentless juggle—home, office, and study. The responsibilities were
heavier, the hours shorter, and the pressure silent but intense.
Studying after a full day of work
wasn’t romantic or inspiring—it was exhausting. I became a night owl not by
choice, but by necessity. Late nights were for study, and weekends were
booked for exams. There was no pause, no shortcuts, no time to think twice.
It was a nutcracker—physically
and mentally.
But somewhere in that struggle, I
started building discipline again. I wasn’t just reading books—I was rebuilding
myself. Every chapter completed, every test given, was a step toward gaining my
confidence back. Not because I was perfect, but because I was trying. Because I
was showing up for myself.
This Time, I Did It for Me
One thing I’ve always struggled
with is showing up for myself. I’ve always been the kind of person who
shows up for others—for family, for work, for responsibilities—but when it came
to doing something just for me, I often found excuses or let it slip
through the cracks.
But this time was different.
This time, I took up the
challenge purely for my own good. Not to prove a point, not to meet anyone
else’s expectations—but because I wanted to remind myself of what I was capable
of. And I learned something powerful in the process:
If you really want to do
something, you’ll always find time for it.
I carved out hours from nowhere.
I studied after work, I sacrificed my weekends, I fought through tiredness and
doubt. And slowly, that consistent effort became a quiet kind of strength.
I’m proud to share that not only
did I manage to complete the course—but I did it with distinction.
It wasn’t just an academic
achievement. It was personal redemption. It reminded me that I still had it in
me. That I wasn’t lost. I had just stopped believing in myself for a
while.
Finding Myself Again—But Not
Alone
While this journey has been one
of self-discovery and inner rebuilding, I know for a fact that I couldn’t have
done it alone.
My family and friends stood by
me in ways I can never truly put into words. They believed in me during
moments when I couldn't believe in myself. They reminded me of my worth when I
had forgotten it. Their quiet encouragement, their patience, and their
unwavering faith in me became the foundation I stood on while I rebuilt my confidence.
Their support wasn’t loud—but it
was always there. Steady. Constant. And sometimes, that’s all you need to find
your way back to yourself.
There will still be tough
days—I know that.
But somewhere deep down, I also
know that when those days come, I won’t crumble. Because the strength I’ve
built over these past few months isn't temporary—it’s mine now. Quiet. Solid.
Earned.
And no matter what lies ahead, I
know this: I will rise again.
“Be true to yourself. Don't
change because people want you to change."
— A reminder I carry with me now,
every day.
